Holiday Season & Loneliness
Daily Calm ~Tamara Levitt
Through the holiday season, a time we view as one of joy, connection, and celebration, many of us experience profound loneliness. Not everyone has families to celebrate with. Some grapple with broken relationships or mourn the loss of loved ones, while others confront different struggles. My experience growing up Jewish during the Christmas season felt isolating; the world seemed to shut down. Everything grew quiet, streets were empty, and you could almost hear a pin drop. For those years when I had no one to spend time with, a deep loneliness ensued.
Many people feel that everyone else is social, joyful, and celebrating with the perfect family. This can trigger feelings of isolation. So, first and foremost, if the above resonates, know that you are not alone. Countless people struggle during this time of year. I want you to keep two things close to your heart.
First, you are not your thoughts. By gently noticing your thoughts and becoming curious about them, you begin to differentiate between what’s true and what your mind wants you to believe. Negative emotions can be convincing, so challenge your thoughts when they arise. Remember, they are just passing clouds in this moment and don’t deserve more meaning than that. “I’m lonely” doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever; it simply means you feel lonely right now. See if you can let that be okay. Loneliness is a common human experience, so try to accept it as your current, temporary state. Don’t push away your feelings; instead, hold loneliness in mindful awareness while also remembering that, like all mental states, loneliness comes and goes. It’s not a permanent part of who you are.
This leads to my second point: the impermanent nature of feelings like loneliness. It can feel as if they’ll last forever, but they won’t. Nothing does. Trust that tomorrow, a week from now, or maybe a year from now, life and your experience of it will change. Be gentle, patient, and loving with yourself through this time. Ask for support if you can, and if not, shower yourself with even more love, as you would a best friend. Remember, even the most difficult feelings have a beginning and an end. As Chatty Fallon wisely said, “Sadness is always temporary. This, too, shall pass.”